Having sex for the first time is an intense and intimate experience. It’s important to communicate and experiment with your partner during these early sexual experiences, so you can discover what turns you on.
The missionary position is perfect for beginners. It combines the intimacy of doggy with the deep penetration of spooning and allows the penetrating partner to rub her clitoris for clitoral stimulation.
Spooning
This is a great position for beginners. The person being penetrated (the bottom spoon) lies face down in a fetal position with their back against the penetrating partner’s back. The top spoon can then slowly enter their partner from the rear with a finger, toy or their hands while gently touching and stimulating their clitoris and/or breasts. This creates slow and rhythmic movement that is calming for both partners and can lead to orgasms.
One variation on this is the slotted spoon. The smaller spoon lowers their pelvis so the bigger spoon can easily slip in behind them for a smooth entry. This position can also be upgraded by having the little spoon fold their legs like a dog for greater contact and leverage for deep penetration and orgasms.
Another version is the Lotus position. Here, the penetrating partner sits cross-legged and the receiver climbs onto their lap, wrapping their legs around them. This can create a very intimate connection, and the top partner can kiss them while gently stroking their face and neck, if desired. This is a good position for first timers as it allows the receiver to control the speed and depth of penetration, and can help them ease into sex. This can be particularly a good position for girls who are worried about losing their virginity, as it is very slow and gentle.
Cowgirl
Cowgirl is another sex position that’s ideal for first-timers, as it allows the person being penetrated to control the rhythm, depth and angle of penetration. It also puts the receptive partner in a dominant position so they can explore their clitoral area, which is important for women who need external stimulation to reach an orgasm.
The name of this sex position — also known as rider on top, girl on top or the cowperson position — comes from the visual image it resembles when a person mounts their partner, like a horse. The person being penetrated lies on their back while the other person straddles or squats onto them, then they enter them vaginally or anally. The receptive partner can widen their legs or even sit on them to enhance the sensations, and can add pressure by gripping the penetrating partner’s butt cheeks for additional sexual pleasure.
In addition to adding pressure, the person being penetrated can use their hands and one of the best sex toys to manually stimulate the top partner’s clitoral region, which helps increase orgasms. Both partners can have direct eye contact in this sex position, which is a good way to communicate non-verbally if they need to speed up or slow down, or change the pace. The cowgirl position is also a great choice for first-timers who are nervous about arousal, as it reduces pressure and the need to use force.
Missionary
The missionary is one of the most popular positions for first time sex and it’s easy to see why. In this position the person being penetrated lies on their stomach with a couple of pillows inserted under their pelvis and then their penetrating partner lies on top mimicking their position, entering them from behind. This is a sensual and erotic position that allows you to explore each other’s erogenous zones slowly and intimately. It’s also a good position for beginners as it means you don’t have to get to the deep cervical penetration that may be uncomfortable or too much for some people during their first few experiences with sex.
Another great aspect about this position is that you can gaze into each other’s eyes, which is very intimate and makes it easy for the two of you to bond through your sexual energy. You can also vary the pressure and speed of penetration, depending on what feels most pleasurable. This is a position that can be used for non-penetrative sex as well, which is great for beginners or those who want to ease into it.
As with any position, it’s important to experiment and find what feels right for you and your partner. It can take time to build up the confidence and experience necessary to try new positions, but having a few different ones up your sleeve can make the process a lot quicker and more enjoyable.
Clitoral
As the name suggests, this position focuses on stimulating your clitoris, and it’s one of the best for first timers. It involves the penetrating partner lying on their back with the receiving partner laying on top of them, legs apart, and facing each other. The person on top can control the speed and depth of penetration.
It also lets them focus on kissing, eye-contact, and a general feeling of intimacy with their partner. As with the Cowgirl position, the person on top can use their hands to explore their vulva for added sensations. They can even try stroking and touching the clitoris, and there’s plenty of room for lubrication, too.
The person on bottom can grind their thighs and pelvis against each other for added stimulation, and they can put a pillow under their head for extra support. It’s a good option for women who find that simply thrusting in and out during penetrative sex doesn’t give them orgasms.
For more clitoral stimulation, they can also try rubbing their thighs together or using a vibrator, like Dame’s Fin, that secures to your fingers and can be used as an erogenous stimulator. It’s important to remember that it takes time and practice to find what techniques feel right. And, if you don’t get that orgasm, that’s OK. That’s what makes exploring sex so much fun!
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