Whether you’re in a brand new relationship or just looking to spice up your love life, getting ready for sex is a must. Here’s a one-stop checklist of things you should do before you turn on the lights and get down to business.
This includes talking about it, as well as preparing your body and mind.
Talk About It
Sex is a taboo topic that can feel awkward to bring up, but having honest conversations about it can help couples get on the same page before getting intimate. Couples need to discuss sexual desires and fantasies, but they also need to talk about safety measures like using protection and avoiding STDs.
If you’re planning to have a sex talk, pick a time when both of you are calm and in a good headspace. Avoid sex talks after a stressful day, or when either of you is already tired or hungry. And be sure to use a private space where you can both speak freely without interruption.
In addition to talking about sex, you and your partner should make a list of what turns you on and what turns you off. That way, you can talk about it together and decide on sexual activities that both of you enjoy.
Having sex for the first time is an exciting and scary experience, so be patient with your partner. It’s important to take your time and explore each other before you move into penetration. And remember to use lubricants to keep things sliding smoothly. In addition, it’s a good idea to have some sex toys on hand for fun ways to stimulate each other during intercourse and increase excitement.
Get in Shape
When you’re a woman or man, it helps to be physically ready for sex. You’ll be a much more appealing partner if you don’t feel like your body needs time to “warm up.” Try getting a little exercise before you head into the bedroom. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, but even a 30-minute walk or light workout can get your blood pumping and your libido up. A little cardiovascular work can also help you last longer during your sex sessions.
Aim to get some strength training in, too. You’ll want to build some core and back muscles so you can hold yourself up in more intense or marathon sex sessions. Jump squats, for example, are great for building leg strength and stabilization. Having strong, tight muscles will also make it easier to switch positions as you start to get horny and feel like trying something new.
It’s a good idea to get some sleep, too, so you can be alert and mentally sharp as you prepare for sex. Getting a good night’s rest can also help you have more powerful orgasms and make your partner feel even more desirable. Avoid drinking too much before heading to the sack, however. Having too many drinks can lead to dehydration, which is no bueno for the sex game.
Set the Mood
Having sex is an intimate experience, so the mood is critical. Despite the fact that sex doesn’t come with instructions, experts have some tips for making it more enjoyable for both of you.
One way to prep for sex is to set the mood early. “If you don’t schedule sex on, say, Tuesday night, and do little things throughout the day to get in the mood, when it’s go-time on Saturday you might not feel it,” Fleming says. This could include things like sending flirty text messages to your boo or having a sensual conversation over dinner to build up anticipation.
Another way to set the mood is by removing distractions. This means clearing off the 11 empty coffee cups from your bedside table and turning off your phone (unless it’s a ringtone that turns you on). It’s also a good idea to dress sensually. For example, avoid wearing clothing with a lot of buttons or clasps, and wear something that’s easy to take off when the time comes.
And don’t forget to add some foreplay. Whether that’s a sensual bath, some hot music, or even some licking. Research shows that foreplay leads to better sexual pleasure and orgasms, so make it a priority.
Have a To-Do List
Sex shouldn’t be something you only do on vacations or daydream about while watching erotic movies. It should be a regular part of your routine, and there are many things you can do to set yourself up for success.
Some of these ideas are simple and effective, such as wearing sexy lingerie or listening to music that makes you feel sexually aroused. Other ideas are more creative, such as creating a sex bucket list and ticking off the items you want to try (if they’re legal and not too embarrassing, of course). This is a great way to get some discussion going with your partner and open up communication about your sexual desires and boundaries.
Creating a checklist also helps you stay accountable, and can be revised as your interests and needs change over time. Don’t be afraid to let your checklist evolve — just like your sexuality is a work in progress, so should your list.
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