If you have a woman in your life who is going through menopause, you know that it can be a lot more difficult for her to get orgasms than she used to. This is usually caused by a drop in estrogen levels.
However, this doesn’t mean that she should give up on sex. It just means that she might need to try some different positions to get pleasure.
1. Side-by-Side Cuddle
Whether you’re looking for new sex positions for menopause or ways to spice up your sexual life, try the side-by-side cuddle. This position helps your partner feel connected, and it may even help ease pain that some postmenopausal women experience during sex. For example, some women who have a hysterectomy and are easing back into sex report pain deep in the vagina near the cervix during penetration. This position can help alleviate this pain and make penetration (if you’re both up for it) more enjoyable.
While lower estrogen levels can affect libido and can cause painful intercourse, there are also treatments available that can help relieve these symptoms, including hormone replacement therapy. And using plenty of lube (like our top picks) during sex can help increase pleasure and reduce pain.
It’s important to communicate with your partner during this time of change, especially if you are the one experiencing pain during sex. Talking about the changes you’re both experiencing can help you find ways to continue to have a fulfilling sexual relationship. It can also help you both understand that these changes are normal and not a reflection of your feelings for each other. It’s also a great time to discuss the many different options for sexual stimulation, like using toys and a vibrator, that can add excitement and pleasure.
2. Missionary
Menopause is a natural biological process that can impact sexual desire and satisfaction, especially with certain positions. But it’s not a sign that you need to stop exploring different sexual positions. In fact, new moves can help you discover your sexual pleasure and comfort again.
The Missionary (also called Man-on-Top) is a classic sex position where the woman lies on her back and the man is on top while they face each other for vaginal intercourse. This is one of the most popular sex positions for couples. The missionary position is also a great position for oral sex or anal sex.
Besides giving solid access to the clitoral hood, this position offers good G-spot stimulation and allows for deep penetration without too much pain if you take it slow and use plenty of lubrication. If pain upon entry is a problem, try lying on your back with a pillow or two under your lower back to raise your pelvis and make insertion easier. Just remember to communicate with your partner about the depth of penetration and what feels good.
Using a water-based or silicone-based lubricant can greatly enhance the comfort of this position. It is best to avoid this position if you have bladder problems or issues with the strength of your pelvic floor muscles. This position can jostle the bladder, causing pain.
3. Doggy Style
One of the best sex positions after menopause for many couples is doggy style, which allows a woman to stimulate her clitoris during penetration. Having the ability to feel intense pressure on the clitoral ridge can increase sexual pleasure and arousal, especially for postmenopausal women with vaginal pain. In this position, the penetrating partner kneels on their behind with their feet together or on either side of a woman’s hips and places their penis or sex toy into her anus or vagina, depending on what is comfortable for the couple.
This angle can also be a great one for G-spot stimulation and offers good access to the clit, says Barros. Having a pillow under the woman’s pelvis can help to elevate the body and make it easier for the man to insert his penis into the vagina.
Some people may not like this sex position because it can cause some discomfort in the vaginal canal if the penetrating partner moves too quickly or deep, notes Megan Stubbs, clinical sexologist. It’s important to listen to your body and use a lot of lube. And, as always, be sure to communicate your needs to your partner so that they can respond accordingly. It is also crucial to continue sexual activity regularly, whether with a partner or on your own through masturbation. Research has shown that sexual activity is one of the best ways to maintain a healthy vulva and can even help prevent menopause symptoms, according to WebMD.
4. Cowgirl
If you’re in the mood for a spicy sex position that’s easy to do in the comfort of your own home, try Cowgirl. This standing angle (think: ballet dancer or clasp sex position) is one of the best sex positions for penetrative stimulation, McDevitt says. The person on top can easily reach around their partner and caress their thighs, shoulders, and neck for vaginal and clitoral stimulation. They can also explore their vulva and clitoris with thrusts.
This position is great for couples of all shapes and sizes—you can even adjust it to accommodate a person with a bad knee, McDevitt says. “As long as the penetrating person is able to keep their body off of the floor, they can adjust the positioning and speed of the thrusts to find what’s most satisfying,” she adds.
This position is a good choice for menopausal women, too. It allows them to stimulate their clitoris, G-spot, and nipples with both their hands and mouth, while keeping control of the rhythm and pace of penetration and depth. It’s also one of the few positions that provides clitoral stimulation without having to bend down, which can make it easier for some to reach orgasm.
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