How to Interpret a Dream About Sex

Dreams about sex can be fun and erotic, but they’re not always to be taken literally. In fact, they can signify other desires.

To make sure you’re catching the right signals, try these techniques for lucid dreams: 1. Think about it – This piece of text is the result of the creative work of the portal team A lot.

1. Think About It

When it comes to dreaming about sex, think like you’re on a date. That means you can set the mood by listening to sexy music, smelling spicy perfume or reading erotic material before bed, says Korin Miller, Prevention’s assistant editor for health and wellness. You’ll also find that dreaming about sex becomes easier if you think about it throughout the day.

Dreams often have meaning, even if they seem nonsensical or random. And sex dreams are no different, explains dream psychologist Lauri Loewenberg. She explains that sexual dreams about strangers, friends, or family usually represent a desire to connect with some aspect of them. It might be a trait or skill, or it could be a feeling you have about them. Loewenberg advises asking yourself “in what way do I need to connect with this person?”

But if the dream is about someone you know, it can be a bit more confusing. “It may be a sign that you are longing for something that you keep confined to your fantasies,” says sex and relationship expert Tammy Nelson, Ph.D. But it can also mean that you’re looking for a new or different experience in your real-life relationships. For example, if you’re happy in your current relationship but dream about having group sex with your besties, that might suggest that you want to explore some safe kinks.

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2. Rehearse It

When you dream about sex, you’re mentally rehearsing it. This practice helps your brain “get used to the idea,” says Dr. Christopher Winter, sleep researcher and neurologist at Charlottesville Neurology and Sleep Medicine. So, it’s like training for a run or taking a group fitness class: The more you do it, the easier it gets.

Dreams about sex can also help you work out sexual fantasies you don’t have the courage to voice in waking life. For example, if you dream about group sex and never engage in multiple-participant kinks IRL, it could indicate your standard love life has become boring. A sex dream about a coworker or friend’s significant other might be a sign you’re looking for adventure in your relationship.

If you’re dreaming about someone you know, Loewenberg suggests asking yourself if they are a romantic partner or not. If they are, you may be longing for intimacy with that person. “Sex dreams about friends or acquaintances can also be about connecting with them on a deeper level, such as emotionally or psychologically,” she says.

And if you’re dreaming about an ex, it might be a sign that you’re still feeling some pain and longing from the breakup. In that case, it’s best to work with a professional therapist who can help you process and heal.

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3. Listen to Erotic Stories

While sex dreams may feel taboo, they are actually totally normal and healthy. They allow us to experience our libido while we’re asleep, and can inspire fantasies that are often acted out with our partner when we wake up. That’s why we recommend embracing them instead of fighting them, especially if you have a sexual inclination that’s not normally met in your day-to-day life.

Deciphering your sex dreams isn’t always easy. But according to dream expert author Theresa Loewenberg, the specifics matter, even if they’re seemingly random. When you have a dream that features someone you know, for instance, or someone in your job (sex with your boss could be a sign of that), it’s important to ask yourself, “What is it about this person that I find so appealing in my dreams?” She adds that the answers to these questions can help you understand how the specific individual is helping you grow in real life.

Dreams that feature animals, on the other hand, usually aren’t about a physical union you want—they’re more about the qualities of that animal you need or are working on integrating into your own personality. The same goes for ex-lover dreams, Nelson says. They could be a way to deal with the pain of being left behind, or it could be a fantasy about the good times.

4. Visualize It

Dreams often come to us in symbolic forms, and interpreting them is not always easy. For example, if you’re dreaming about sex with someone you just started dating, it could symbolize that you want to take the relationship further but aren’t sure if they’re right for you.

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Conversely, if you’re dreaming about having sex with an ex, it could suggest that you miss them or wish you had that connection again. If you’re dreaming about your boss, it could symbolize your desire to move up in your career and have more control over your schedule.

If you’re dreaming about a celebrity, it suggests that you admire their traits. “You may be fantasizing about a certain person because of the way they act or their style,” says dream psychologist Lauri Loewenberg. You can use the celebrity as inspiration to cultivate their qualities in your life, like taking on some of their lifestyle or fashion cues.

Don’t be afraid to let your imagination run wild. While it might take some practice to become lucid in your dreams, the rewards can be worth it. Just remember to be safe and make sure you’re the architect of your dreamscape, not an accidental victim. Then, you can be sure your dreams are going to be just what you need them to be.

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