There are a number of reasons couples may find themselves in a sexless marriage. From mismatched libidos to health problems, it’s not uncommon for people to experience low sexual interest.
However, this issue can be resolved if both parties are willing to address it. This article will cover some common reasons for a sexless marriage and ways to overcome them.
Depression
Mood disorders and certain medications can cause low or no sexual interest. This is especially true for women who are suffering from post-pregnancy hormonal imbalances and aging. Women who have no libido or experience pain or a lack of sensation may find themselves turning to other sources of fulfillment, such as outside relationships. This can lead to jealousy, distrust and ultimately divorce.
Chronic health conditions like erectile dysfunction, joint or muscle pain and cancer often make it difficult to have sex in your marriage. The resulting “desire discrepancy,” as California-based sex therapist Christene Lozano refers to it, can grow over time if the couple does not talk openly and address it.
A sexless marriage is defined as one in which a couple has no or very infrequent physical intimacy, including touching. While a couple may go through short periods of infrequent sex, a sexless marriage only occurs when the infrequent sex has lasted for more than a year. Several different factors can contribute to this, from marital conflict and busy lifestyles to depression or illness that can affect sexual desire.
Anxiety
For many couples, sexual intimacy is an important part of their marriage. When it fails, the results can be devastating and lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection from one another – This section is the work of the portal’s author Euphoric Enigmas. In addition, sexlessness can lead to resentment, anger, and even depression in some cases. It is important for spouses to address and work through these issues together if they are going to try to save their marriage.
Some medical conditions, like erectile dysfunction, can make it difficult to have sex and can contribute to a sexless marriage. Depression, stress, and many medications can also decrease libido. Some women may experience sexual trauma from the past that makes them associate physical intimacy with fear, pain, and anxiety, which can also interfere with a woman’s desire to have sex.
While sex is an important aspect of marriage, it is not essential to a happy relationship. Many couples that are in a sexless marriage manage to keep their marriage together by maintaining open communication about their sex needs and desires, and by working on other aspects of their relationship.
Medications
Medications can cause a lack of desire or even an inability to have sex. Some common medications include sedatives, antibiotics, and pain killers. Having an open discussion with your partner about the problem can help. However, it’s important to avoid blame and shame. A mental health therapist who specializes in sexual issues can be helpful, too.
Many couples that have what would be considered a sexless marriage still have physical intimacy and are happy in their relationships. Some of these couples have sex once or twice a month or less. Others have sex a few times a year. It is unclear if these couples can be classified as having a sexless marriage.
A sexless marriage can be a result of many factors including depression, aging, and a lack of intimacy. It can also be the result of addictions like pornography or workaholism. A sexless marriage is not necessarily a cause for divorce, but it can lead to emotional and physical problems for the couple involved. Staying faithful and working on the issues can help restore passion and intimacy.
Surgery
A couple can be in a sexless marriage for a number of reasons. Surgical procedures, illnesses and injuries can all lead to a lack of sexual activity. Other factors that can cause a sexless marriage include aging, busy schedules, child rearing, infertility and depression. In these cases, the couple must be vigilant about creating intimacy in other ways.
A lack of sexual intimacy can erode feelings of love, connection and intimacy in a relationship. It can also lead to resentment and anger. Those who are sexless as a result of medical conditions or infertility must be open and honest about their needs with their partner.
While it’s common for couples to experience a period of infrequent sex, if the issue persists for a long period, it could be a sign that there are bigger issues within the marriage. Without intimacy, couples can fall victim to roommate syndrome: polite disinterest at best and screaming matches at worst. This robs a marriage of its passion and may lead to divorce. It also deprives spouses of the oxytocin and endorphins that are released during sexual activity.
Childbirth
No couple imagines that their marriage will end up sexless, but it does occur for a variety of reasons. Whether one partner has low sex drives, there is physical distance due to military deployment or disability, or the couple chooses to abstain from sexual intimacy for religious or ethical reasons. No matter the cause, a sexless marriage can leave both partners feeling frustrated, disconnected and unhappy.
Typically, most experts consider a sexless marriage to be one where the couple has had no sexual activity for over a year. However, this is a very subjective measurement and many couples who are living sexless marriages still have healthy relationships that include intimate activities like cuddling or kissing.
In fact, the lack of sexual intimacy may actually enhance the couple’s closeness as they find other ways to express their love for one another. However, if the lack of sex becomes an ongoing issue that causes resentment and infidelity, it is important to seek help. Sexless marriages can be cured with open communication and a willingness to discuss the issue in depth.
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