How to Fix a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage can be salvageable, but it takes time and commitment. It also requires a mindset shift away from survival mode and toward growth.

Often, a sexless marriage can be the result of unequal sex drives or other relationship problems that need to be addressed. There are many ways to restore passion and intimacy in your marriage, including: focusing on emotional intimacy, spice up the bedroom, and take small steps towards sex.

1. Identify the Causes

Sex is a vital aspect of any marriage, but it can sometimes be overlooked or taken for granted. It’s not uncommon for couples to experience a loss of interest in their sexual relationship over time, leading to feelings of disconnection and emotional distress. Sex is also a powerful way to bond with your partner, so when it begins to decline, it can have a negative impact on the whole relationship.

Some experts define a sexless marriage as one in which a couple has sex less than 10 times a year. However, there are a variety of reasons why sex might be lacking in a marriage, including medical or mental health issues, lack of intimacy, and differing sexual desires.

It’s important to remember that while a sexless marriage may have many causes, it isn’t necessarily an indication of infidelity or a lack of love. It can simply be a sign that the couple needs to spend more time on creating intimacy in other ways. For example, one of my clients found that he needed pornography to get an erection and was embarrassed to share this with his wife, but through counseling and communication, they were able to overcome this barrier and rekindle their passion in the bedroom.

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2. Communicate With Your Partner

If you’re in a sexless marriage, it’s important to communicate with your partner. Talk about your concerns and find solutions. This will help to rebuild your intimacy in the bedroom, and it may also reveal underlying issues that need to be addressed.

For example, if stress or mental health issues are causing your sexlessness, it’s important to address these issues. It can be difficult to bring up these topics, but it’s worth it. Be sure to speak from a place of compassion and empathy, and avoid blaming your partner.

In addition to sexual intimacy, it’s also important to cultivate emotional and relational intimacy. Spend time together doing activities that you both enjoy, such as reading, playing a game, or going on a date. Make it a priority to hold hands, hug, kiss, and cuddle with one another. You can also increase romantic intimacy by giving each other massages, putting on music that makes you both feel good, and wearing lingerie. This will help to re-ignite the spark in your relationship and restore your passion for each other.

3. Create a Plan

Sometimes, people in a marriage find themselves in a sexless relationship because of one or more factors. Whether they have an uneven sex drive, masturbation addiction, infidelity or other relationship problems, a lack of sexual intimacy can lead to feelings of disconnectedness and unfulfillment. In these cases, it’s important to communicate about the needs of each partner outside and inside the bedroom.

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Creating a plan to get back on track can help couples reconnect and reignite the flame of passion in their relationship. A sexless marriage can also be the catalyst a couple needs to overcome deeper relationship issues and create intimacy in new ways.

In some cases, sexless marriages are the result of a slow build-up of resentment between the partners. In other cases, the cause is more complex, like dealing with children or taking care of elderly parents. The first step in this situation is for the couple to sit down and talk openly about what’s going on. This can be a difficult conversation, but it’s essential to the health of the marriage. Using a marriage communication program like Power of Two Online can help make the process easier.

4. Make It a Priority

A sexless marriage doesn’t have to be a permanent condition. With some work and dedication, couples can rekindle passion in their relationship and improve intimacy. The key is communication, and taking steps to increase emotional connection and affection.

Most couples don’t choose to be sexless, but it often happens gradually as the initial excitement of married life wears off and new relationship stressors appear. For example, long hours at work can take a toll on your intimacy, as can financial stresses or pregnancy or menopause, which can decrease sex drive and interest.

If you and your partner are feeling disconnected, try increasing emotional intimacy by spending time together without talking about work or bills. Make a point to hold hands, hug and kiss more, and schedule a date night at least once a month (ideally weekly). It doesn’t have to be anything fancy; you could watch a movie on the couch with your favorite snack or have dinner at home and talk about things you are interested in together. Nurture your spiritual and emotional intimacy, too, by practicing mindfulness and spending time in nature.

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5. Take Action

In a lot of cases, couples have overcome the issue of their sexless marriage by taking active steps to improve their intimacy outside of the bedroom. Things like a sex jar, a sexcation, or other creative ways to spark excitement can help couples reconnect with each other.

Other steps may include trying to find a time of day when you can talk with your partner, avoiding negative conversations (i.e. pillow talk), and focusing on what you appreciate about each other. In some cases, you and your spouse may need to seek professional assistance from a sex therapist or couples counselor that specializes in relationship issues.

Ultimately, it takes time and dedication to rekindle passion and intimacy in your marriage. But it is possible – and worth it! Don’t let your sexless marriage ruin your entire life. Take action today to revive your marriage and start thriving! Do you have any questions or comments about this article? Please leave them in the comment section below! Thanks for reading! We hope to hear from you soon.

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