The penis is full of nerve endings and is super responsive to touch. It’s also a great place to start with oral sex and it’s easy to make it extra evocative with your lips and tongue.
It’s important to communicate what you want and don’t like while giving head. Gently teasing and building excitement are essential for blow jobs that heat up and reach orgasm.
1. Put a penis in your mouth
Blow jobs are kind of the wild west of sex acts: it’s a totally naughty thing you can do on anything phallic, like a cucumber, dildo or vibrator, to turn someone on. You can lick, trace, kiss, stroke, grind and even sing to the member.
It’s important to use water-soluble lube for your blow job, especially when it’s your first time. It will help with the friction and sensitivity of the penis head.
Remember to breathe deeply during your blow job. Holding your breath stiffens the oropharynx, which can cause choking. Also, humming or moaning can give your partner added pleasure. It will signal to them that you’re really into it, which makes for a more satisfying experience for both of you.
2. Suck on it
One of the best parts about a good blow job is the sensations of the tongue on the shaft. Trying different tongue shapes can be super satisfying, so play around with it while you’re downing the penis of your lover.
Another fun trick is licking the perineum, the area of skin between the ball sack and the anus. This is super sensitive, and can be a huge turn on for many guys, explains Velvet Co. sexpert Julieta Chiaramonte.
It’s also a great idea to ask your partner what they want. Guys find it insanely exciting when their partners take the lead in oral sex, so don’t be afraid to let them guide you on this journey.
3. Lick it
Whether it’s foreplay before penetrative sex or the main event, oral sex can be thrilling for both partners. It’s important that everyone involved is comfortable with the experience.
Licking a partner’s dick can feel amazing, especially if they respond to it with nonverbal signs of pleasure, such as faster and heavier breathing or thrusting action. It’s also fun to experiment with different tongue shapes, such as wide and flat on the shaft or tight and pointy on the tip.
If swallowing ejaculate feels wrong, don’t worry – stomach acid and enzymes can kill any HIV in semen that enters the mouth. Just be sure to use protection if you decide to go for it.
4. Kiss it
A BJ is a pretty intimate act. So, it’s important to take your time and make sure you’re lubed up — a water-soluble, even flavored lubricant is a solid choice.
It’s also crucial to know that not all blow jobs will end in orgasm. And that’s OK! Sometimes pleasure is about connecting and enjoying, not about putting on a Broadway-worthy performance.
And don’t be afraid to ask your partner what they want. They may not be able to articulate it, but they will likely respond to you! And that’s the beauty of sexual exploration. It’s all about internalizing your own desires and honoring those of your partner.
5. Trace it with your teeth
When it comes to oral sex, communication is key. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you want and don’t like.
You can lick the shaft, rub it with your hands, or even use your teeth (not biting, but lightly tracing around). This is a great way to get a stronger sensation and make him go faster.
Try mixing things up and adding new sensations to prolong his pleasure. Give him soft licks, quick sucks, a tongue swirl, a slow slurp, or teasing laps. Don’t forget to use lube! It makes everything better. It also helps him stay hydrated and moisturized.
6. Stroke it
Stroking can be a big part of a blow job, and it can feel great for both parties. You can stroke just the dick, or you can go up and down the shaft with your fingers. It’s also a good idea to use lube when stroking, because it will keep things slippery and smooth.
You can also try stroking the perineum or other erogenous zones on the body, if your partner is into it. It’s all about making them feel pleasure, so don’t be afraid to experiment. Just be sure to ask them if you’re making them happy before continuing. And remember, eye contact is super hot! It shows confidence and makes them want you even more.
7. Grind it
A guy loves it when his girl is genuinely excited to give him head. It shows confidence and ups the intimacy factor. And he doesn’t want to just see the top of his dick, so try to show him more, too!
Play with your tongue shape, from wide and flat on the shaft to tight and pointy at the tip. Try tickling it, too, and even edging the perineum, as that can be intensely orgasmic for some. Also, try stroking it with your fingertips, or getting creative with a neck pillow (yes, there are blowjob pillows).
As always, communication is key. Be sure to talk to your partner about what feels good and doesn’t, and how you like things to be positioned.
8. Make it talk
A good blow job is more than just a physical sensation. It’s also about psychological arousal.
Sex educator Kenneth Play says that for some people, oral sex can be very turn-on and “be a great form of self-pleasure.” This is especially true for people who may feel shy or uncomfortable during penetrative sex.
He recommends talking about your partner’s preferences beforehand and respecting them. If he wants you to lick and kiss him during a BJ, make sure to do so with your mouth closed. Also, he might want you to shift his head around while it’s happening to spice things up. He’ll appreciate the attention to detail.
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