The Best Way to Prepare For Anal Sex

The anus is packed with nerve endings that respond well to stimulation, whether from fingers, a penis, toys, or even just the mouth. Just remember to always use lots of lube and go slow.

Having a stash of towels and easy access to wipes can help reduce mess from lube, spunk, and residual poop.

Clean Up

It’s important to keep your hands clean before anal sex, especially if you’re a newbie. Use soap and water to wash your hands and the area around your anus. This can help prevent an infection. You’ll also want to make sure that your partner washes their hands before touching the anus, vagina or clit. That helps reduce the risk of transferring lube or oils from the anus to the vagina and penis, which can lead to unpleasant infections.

Some people have a hard time accepting that bottoming can be messy, but it’s important to know ahead of time that anal sex can get pretty dirty. The anus and rectum are the final sections of the large intestine, which means fecal matter can make its way there. While you can take precautions, like putting down a towel on the bed or using dark sheets, it’s not uncommon for anal play to leave behind lube, body fluids and even small traces of feces.

You can help prevent this from happening by using a water-based lube. This type of lube will dissolve faster than other types and won’t absorb as easily, making it easier to apply and rinse away. It’s also less abrasive and gentle on your anus, which can protect the skin from irritation. Having a good quality lube can help you and your partner enjoy anal play without worrying about any mess or irritation.

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Warm Up

Using a little foreplay with your partner (like licking lips or fingerplay) can get both partners in the mood and feel ready to start. It can also help to have a nice, warm shower before getting started. This helps to clean up any microscopic fecal matter that may still be present, and can increase the comfort level for both penetrating and receiving partners.

Anal sex can be pretty intense, so it’s important to start slow and take your time. Lube your fingers or a small toy and slowly insert it. This will help ease into the feeling and warm up your back door. It’s also a good idea to use lots of lube, as the anus isn’t naturally lubricated.

Once you’ve both warmed up and have a good amount of anal lube on hand, it might be a good idea to invest in some more anal sex toys. This can make the experience a lot more interesting and exciting for both partners, and it’s a great way to add some variety to anal play. Just remember to only use anal sex with a partner who you trust and are comfortable with.

It’s important to always check in with your partner throughout the anal experience, and don’t push them or yourself too hard if it’s uncomfortable. It’s also perfectly fine to switch from anal sex to vaginal or oral sex at any point if you’re not enjoying it or aren’t feeling up to it.

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If you’re a guy who’s interested in trying anal, it’s a good idea to use lube before penetration. This will help prevent friction and increase sensations, especially if you’re using a toy. It’s also important to avoid over-lubing. Too much lube can irritate and tear the lining of the anus, which can lead to infection.

Unlike the vagina, the anus does not naturally lubricate. That’s why it’s important to use a water-based lubricant before anal play. Other types of lubricants, such as oil-based lubes or glycerin, break down quickly and can cause irritation and bacteria in the anus.

It’s also a good idea to use a silicone-based lube when anal playing, as it lasts longer inside the anus and can be more slippery. Some people also prefer a lube that relaxes the anus to make penetrating it easier. Just keep in mind that silicone lubes can stain sheets and clothing, so be sure to lay down towels or dark bedding before anal play.

Finally, don’t douche right before anal play. This can irritate the lining of the anus and can make it more vulnerable to infections, like STIs and HIV, according to SELF. So be sure to wait at least an hour before engaging in anal play. And remember to always use condoms if you’re non-monogamous. And when you’re done, be sure to clean up everything thoroughly.


When you’re ready to try anal play, start with a simple, hands-free plug or anal beads, like those from Spectrum Boutique or PeepShow Toys. Choose ones made from high-grade materials, like medical-grade silicone, and that are anal-safe, hypoallergenic and latex-free. Different types of materials offer different sensations, so play around until you find what feels good for you.

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If you want to move closer to anal sex, add a dildo like a Rimming Plug Petite or a b-Vibe butt plug (which range in size from one to six). Practice anal training four or five times a week with the toy in for about 15 minutes. Gradually increase the time each week. When it feels comfortable and natural to have a plug in your bum, you can start to add lube and experiment with different positions.

Always use a water-based lubricant for anal play, as the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina. Some people prefer a silicone lube for anal play, as it feels slippery and lasts longer, but either type can be used as long as you remember to re-apply often, especially after you shower. Be sure to clean the toy after each use, following the cleaning instructions on its packaging. With proper prep and warming up, adequate lube and careful positioning, anal sex can be extremely pleasurable for both the giver and receiver.

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